toddler tantrums

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toddler tantrums

Post by kim on Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:42 pm

Hi ladies, well i experienced my first major full on tantrum in public today, needless to say my DS just 2 belted it out for 25 minutes until i could stop him, i managed to ignore him for the whole time but got PLENTY of stares from the shoppers in DJS and the shopping centre. My question to you all, should i have ignored him , tried to stop him, gone home, chastised him ????????? feeling a bit helpless with a bub due in 6 weeks, what would you have done
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by *Anthea* on Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:48 am

ignor! well thats what I do.

when we first moved to perth we went to the convention centre, they were having some sale (rugs, cllthes, shoes CD........) and he got upet cause I wanted to buy him clothes (go figure) then when I got the regester without clothes for him he got even more upset, but I stuck to my guns and didnt get him a thing.

we get out to the huge hall and the sounds there echo, he starts to scream cause we didnt get him anything, and then threw himself on the ground and kicked (you now that ad on TV with the kid having a tantrum in the shop, then mum has one ) full blown tantie. Everyone is staring, but I didnt care, I walked off a bit and let him carry on alone.

anyway I think we as parents are used to seeing a tantie so when I see someone elses kid having one I am actually relieved that it isnt just me! BUT you are still curious as to why their having them, and that is prolly why you got the stares.

it is even worse when pregnant (delt with loads from the middle one when pregnant with Yak!)

But I think you have to find what works for you. you have to remember that there will be a baby soon so you cant always drop it all for DS too.

well thats just my opinion anyway
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by Tina Head Lady on Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:34 am

Yeah I agree I just ignore ...another thing that I did with Cody ...(well she was pretty good she only had public tanty's 3 times)....I took her outside and just let her have her tears and screams as soon as she realised that I wasn't listening and there was no one to watch her she soon calmed down.....Now if she starts to play up I just have to say do you want to go to the car.....and if you don't stop that we will go home...but always fl;oow through on your threat.....so if your not prepared to follow through then don't use it...because sometimes I know that sometimes you just can't gop home you need stuff...lol....so I usually just say we will go and sit in the car until you can calm down she doesn't like that idea so she usually never gets to the absolute screaming and full on whingy stage......

At home I just tell her calmly that I am not going to listen until she talks properly and if she want to carry on she can do it in her room.....because I doon't want to listen to it......It usually works...but remember they have lots of days where they will test you and push your patience....

I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes but the stages do get easier....well untril they hit puberty then god help us all......

Anyway thats just a few tips good luck....


Very Happy
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by sheree on Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:08 am

yep i am the same i ignore...we are in the whinging stage with kaitlyn at the moment and oh my thats hard to ignore thats for sure... but i have now told her that one whinge and things that she loves like her nintendo etc gets taken away... its worked so far...

but saying that kaitlyn never really chucked a huge tantrum in public (she likes to keep them for home lol)
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by Arby on Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:34 am

I either walk away but keep them with in eyesight and running to catch them distance (hard when you have a belly full of baby) or I just ignore the behaviour but I pick him up and just walk off with him under my arm like a sack of potatoes.
The other day we were at the doctors with Amy having her needle and Josh wouldn't get up and walk down to the room. So I asked him to stand up and come but he wouldn't so I had hold of his hand and dragged him down the hall. I got stares etc... But I don't care what people think. Any way when we got down the room I asked him if he has finished chucking a sad and he said yes and was happy.
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by lizzyc on Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35 am

oh dear this is a biggy...i think you have to be consistant in what everever you do and folow through with your consequences..
i had a tantrum thrower.. she would bellow like a bull and i would get all sorts of stares and advice from strangers in the shopping centres..and in this day and age where you cant even give them a tap on the rump it makes it harder.. i dont think a 20minute talk on the do's and dont's of tantrum throwing in the supermarket with a two year old works.. they need something that will pull them up quickly before it gets worse and you become a wreck..
there were times i ignored her but that has to be done carefully too.
i had her in a trolley one time and just let her howl for 1/2 hour while i tried to just looked around..another time i took her outside (under my arm because her arms and legs were thrashing about, and i was preggers with number 3) and let her finish it in the back seat of the car and then i asked her if that was fun and she said no so i was able to have a chat with her about it then..
also what are the circumstances of the tantrum... are they hot, tired, sick or just being stubborn.. have they had enough of the shops..can you distract them with a little packet of cut up apple sultanas etc...
i also found lavender dabbed on the forehead is very calming..
often they play up when you are busy and need to get things done i have found, so try to keep calm yourself..(easier said then done..)
and somehow tomorrow is another day, if you have a hell of the day today, then hopefully tomorrow is a new day..
i got through it with my tantrum thrower.. she is now 21 and busy working.. she is strong willed and is making a career in real estate, a job where you need strength..
its not easy, and with a new babe on the way soon they can be more demanding as they are not the only child anymore and that will be a whole new topic!!
just know you are not the only mum going through this and God placed your kids with you because you are the best person in the whole world to bring them up!!
take care.. lots of mums are with you in thought and you will do great!!
xx lizzyc
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by kim on Tue Oct 28, 2008 4:01 pm

Thanks ladies, we had only just got to the shops so he wasnt sick of being there, he wasnt tired, or hungry, he is never hungry he is a terrible eater bribing with food just would nt work. As he has just turned two i dont think i could really try to talk to him yet after he is finished throwing a tantrum..
i guess it is a learning curve, im such a big worrier and suffer from anxiety that im stressing myself out thinking about the new bub and how im going to deal with it all, in the coming weeks i think ill be asking a lot more for advice hope this is ok with you guys
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by Arby on Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:06 am

Kim I do think that at 21 months he is capable of being bribed... I don't know what your veiw is on smarties etc but I find they do work a treat with Josh and have done for the last 6 months at least. Don't buy them when you are out though or it will become somthing he expects, take them with you from home and hand them out one at a time. Great time to get him to start learning his colours to. That is how we taught Josh!!
21 months is a hard age coz they can't be reasoned with but as I said bribes!! can work. Whoever it was that said you should not barter with children never had a tantrum thrower. It will pass and he will soon gain control over his emotions (I hope). You are very welcome to ask for advice and the best I can give you is listen to every ones and then weed out what you don't want and then give the rest a go......
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by Tina Head Lady on Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:32 am

Kim yeah don't feel worried that you can't ask for advice that's what we are here for....not just for scrapping but to help each opther with just every day life....with the kids it does get easier but there is always something new to deal with....usually every week or two...some new problem to get ahead of...some phases last days weeks and then some lasst months but as long as you stay consistant in your responses with regards to each situatiopn they will soon get bored or realise their limits are that and won't continue to push them....so defintly it will be hard and get very frustrating but always believe that every child goes through very similar things....they are little being trying to find ways to be in this great big and confusing world.....imagine what we feel about society and the way is life is ...and we are mature, then think about the fact they are not only trying to learn about all of that they are also trying to learn life skills in regards to emotion and lessons to cope in this wide world....sorry i am in a deep mood this morning...lol Wink
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by sheree on Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:23 am

big hugs kim... you know we are here for you... but im sure you will do fine...
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by Lali on Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:15 pm

OH Kim I so sympathise with you I have a 4.5 year old who is a drama queen and full of whinger and a 2.5 year old who has just started being a right royal pain in the arse (excuse the french)...the girls advise is all great but I all I can emphasise is what the girls say don't back down and don't feel bad let people think what they want to think...Casey has a bad habit of not answering when I call her in the shops if she has gone walk abouts thinks it is quite funny so I have actually walked away from her and hidden to teach her a lesson sounds cruel but it worked a treat as she doesn't walka way anymore...Kim we are all here for each other so vent as much as you want
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Re: toddler tantrums

Post by kim on Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:20 am

thanks girls your advice is all sound and i will try to stay focused and positive, he responds well to positive reinforcment and we try to give him as much as possible, i agree staying consistent is the most important thing so i will try to do that , thanks also for your support i feel i really need it at the moment
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